Enough is Enough

So I have literally written six different drafts all with really witty headings and put them to the side so I can work on them “later”. But I havent… and I wont. Sooo while riding home from a wonderful weekend at home Whit asks me, “Why havent you blogged in a while?” I was flustered and just knew it was a matter of time before someone asked of why my attempt at blogging had been so short but knew I needed to redeem myself. He made a suggestion to maybe not make them as long and just say what’s on my mind and just in general how things have been going. (he’s so smart)

Things have been going thats for sure. That is one reason why I have not taken the time to do this. The other reason is that every time I sit down to write I get overwhelmed by the amount of things I have learned and not being a writer it is hard to put into words what I have learned thus far. I have taken on more responsibilities every week and you know what? I am kind of good at teaching. (thank the good lord above, for me and my parent’s moneys sake) I have also seen the absolute roller coaster that is what makes up Special Education in general. One day we are happy and smiling and participating and the next we have to watch out for the “swings” (who knew self-defense class would actually come in handy) and losing a body part from temper tantrums. Patience is the key to all of it. And I need more of that for sure. The other day my practicum teacher said, “Honey, if you didn’t believe in Jesus before you better get on your knees today and start praying.” As comforting as that is I am glad that I do have my faith and someone to be therefore me through the ups and the downs and to give me more patience.

I promised I wouldn’t write personal life things but I lied because this needs to be said. I have been really working lately to not sweat the small stuff. This has proved difficult for me because I am a worrier as said before and micromanaging is what I do best. But to be in this profession you have to be flexible and able to change plans and go with the flow. This freaks me out a little (because I am my fathers child who is a man with a plan) and sometimes it is hard for me to let go and step back when things arent going my way. But you know what? Tomorrow is a new day. And I am going to try that much harder to not plan the things I cannot control. I am going to do what I am supposed to and if things don’t go my way (but I always secretly pray they will) I will TRY to not stress and hyperventilate. And to my future children, I am sorry for I will be a helicopter mom that will constantly hover and stress and plan for you. My mother was that way and the apple does not fall far from the tree at all. Thanks mom for all those times you hovered and went above and beyond the call of duty, you made me who I am and I appreciate it even if I dont say it enough.